Poem 365 for 2023

Poem 365 for 2023

Poem 365

If you just keep going
You’ll be further along
Than had you never started

365.2023 #poem

Poem 364 for 2023

Poem 364 for 2023

Poem 364

Macarons
Teach you how
To eat them
How to enjoy them
How to devour them
So as to make
A brief moment eternal
When you slow down
Every bite
Then every bite
Becomes everlasting
All to hold infinity
In your mouth
And taste the tip of divinity
On your tongue

364.2023 #poem #macaron #food

Poem 363 for 2023

Poem 363 for 2023

Poem 363

I’ve never given
Something
I don’t have to give

Feigning generosity
You do not possess
To save face
Or someone’s feelings
Is a form of cruelty

I’d rather hurt you
A little now
Than hurt you a lot later

363.2023 #poem #thoughts #meditation

Poem 362 for 2023

Poem 362 for 2023

Poem 362

My Glimmers* In Improv After For Sure Doing This For 15 Years

*Glimmers are the little things that bring you joy

1. Hanging out in the green room with your buds before a show happens and just talking about whatever

2. Having my favorite pink t-shirt ready to go for a show

3. Seeing someone you haven’t seen in a while and just giving them a big hug without thinking about it

4. Doing a random late night meal with your friends after a really good show

5. Driving into the mouth of the 101 North as it branches off from the 5 North. It’s this brief two lane tributary that rapids you down into Downtown LA; you for sure feel like you’re in LA proper, and the energy shifts to excitement and anticipation as you sail closer to Hollywood.

6. A really good show for 5 people that you’ll all remember for the rest of your lives

7. Having your sketch hit the way you wanted to hit, a rare moment where vision predicts outcome.

8. All the new friends you make randomly at shows

9. 3 hour conversations at House of Pies

10. Seeing a packed patio at The Lyric Hyperion after Duo It Again and just realizing people are becoming friends

11. I love me some backstage blue lights. They’re tranquil AF

12. Being in an empty theater hours before a show. It feels so sacred to be in that space before the public arrives. It’s as if there’s divine energy flowing through

13. The roar of a hot crowd going crazy for you just saying “Wassup!”

14. People coming up to you randomly and telling you about something you did at a show a while back and how it stayed with them in a positive way

15. The planters outside of Broadwater Plunge. Lots of good conversations there

16. Driving to all my theaters

17. Watching someone perform for a long time, laughing at them, and then telling them why you think they’re brilliant

18. A nice crisp margarita after a banger sketch show

19. The fleeting awareness that all this is temporary, and that I’m very privileged and lucky to be creating, which quickly turns to an odd survivors guilt until I shake it off and proceed as scheduled.

20. The good times I’ll inevitably forget but whose imprint I’ll carry forever

#improv #poem

Poem 361 for 2023

Poem 361 for 2023

Poem 361

Listening to
The same song
Over and over again
Is therapeutic

It’s almost like
This shield
From the outside world
Where I can
Let my defenses down
And see what
My mind has to say

It’s almost like a trance
Without looking for a trance

Maybe I should just meditate
But I always think of
Gnarly shit
I don’t want to think about
When I try to meditate
Maybe I got PTSD

Or I have so much trauma
There’s a backlog
That it’s just overwhelming
To deal with

Lifting weights
Now that feels like mediation
In the way people describe
What meditation
Does for them

I find myself
Forgiving myself
For things that
Happened long ago
In between sets

It’s like a literal
And figurative weight
Is lifted off my shoulders
As if my physical burden
Takes my spiritual burden with it
When I heave off the last rep
Of a set

My spiritual range of motion
Increases with my actual
Physical range of motion
It’s connected, man

My early gym mentors
Where the most positive people
I ever met
Everyone was cool
And wanted to see me succeed

Prior to that
My concept of meditation
Was connected to the Catholic Church
In the form of prayer
Which took the shape of
Talking to God and asking for forgiveness
While asking why I should feel shame
For some things that didn’t feel like
They warranted that feeling
It wasn’t for me, chico

But in the gym
When you’re tired
Almost exhausted
You’re too beat to lie to yourself
Your truth comes out
And you no longer
Want to hate yourself

It’s like this is a feeling
I wanted to get out of Church
But was never able to get

There’s something divine
Or rather something that
Elicits the divine with me
When I make a sincere effort
To move a piece of piece of metal
In a precise manner through
A fixed path of space

All My focus
All my intent
All my effort
On this one task
I have no ego
Because the weights
Will humble you
Through injury
I’m humble and present
But loving it
While wanting it to end
It’s simple yet complicated
A time to contemplate a paradox
And then move on swiftly
To the next exercise
With a fleeting insight
Maybe that’s what meditation
Is supposed to be

361.2023

#poem #spirit #church #feeling #gym #gymselfie #meditation

Poem 360 for 2023

Poem 360 for 2023

Poem 360

How many times
Have I bargained my soul
For cheap pleasure
To forget the pain
I’m trying to run away from

I throw dirt on my energy
By neglecting my spirit
But I don’t know
How to exercise
The breath of life
Running through me

I don’t want the discipline
Or dogma of religion
Because I don’t have
The necessary faith
Or humility
To submit myself
To a life of routine
And ritual

That’s probably the reason why
I’ve never been able to
Stick to one style of improv

But I do believe
In a higher power
Maybe its different forces
Like destiny, luck, and serendipity
Coalescing together
To create a force larger
Than myself

I’m just a good guy
Scratch that
I’m just a guy trying to
Get rid of his ego
Without devaluing myself
To the point
That I feel I have no worth
Or ability to impact
My life with my choices

Catholic School
Did a number on me
I sometimes wish I was
One of those unyielding Catholics
Who believe without doubt
And want to go to Rome
To meet the Pope
None of that stuff interests me

As a kid I was like
Why do I gotta go through
This priest first if I want to
Talk to God
Why do I have to confess
If God already knows what I did
If He’s always with me
He knows all the bad shit I’ve done
But because he’s all forgiving
Or just plain beyond my perception
Of good and evil
Would He not care
And probably forgave me already

All the priests I grew up with
Sucked
None of them were inspiring
And I wanted to believe too
I was ripe for the picking too
If some Evangelical pastor
Came in at the right time
But even they sucked

So who was my moral authority
Growing up
Jesus, duh
Just because I knew it was funky
Didn’t mean I went against
My Catholic programming

I just tried to be like Jesus
Which basically meant
Being a nice guy who helped people
Who put his needs last
Which basically turned me into a martyr
Jesus, I really was trying to be like Jesus

Except my 40 days in the desert
with the Devil
Is getting older and trying not to
Become a jaded cynic
Being happy and positive is hard
in our crumbling world

Maybe I’ll just go full Jesus
And try to help as many people
Why not – it’s what I know

360.2023

#poem #spirit #religion #church #jesus

Poem 359 for 2023

Poem 359 for 2023

Poem 359

I long for places
That don’t exist anymore
Because I failed
To appreciate them
When they were around

We don’t know
They’re good times
Till after the fact

Sometimes you can
Freeze time
Hit pause
Step out of the scene
To see the picture

But even then
The wisdom
That the moment
Is fleeting
Is itself transient
Like trying to
Make a sunset longer
Than what it’s supposed to be

I think the error is
Remembering too much
That you fail to make new memories
It’s a paradox

And then life itself
Is brief
Goes by faster every year
Faster than you think
With more new experiences
Than you can process

I am prone to bouts of
Sudden nostalgia
That can bend into
A light melancholy
I can’t change what is
Because it’s too late
To go back
And change what was

The Brazilians
Already solved this problem
Fortunately

It’s called Saudade
A longing for something
That doesn’t exist anymore
That forces you
To live in the moment
In order to escape
The sadness of what was

But they got it down
To a point
That it’s all light and playful
And deep and dad
Life is a party
Because the party that is life
Is not in your control
And you have to let go
And enjoy it
As much as you can enjoy it
As much as you allow yourself
To enjoy it

Don’t let what’s gone
Blind you from
Enjoying what you have now
Hold on loosely
To what you have now
Because it will leave you
But then something new
Will take its place
And so forth and so forth
And that is the rhythm of life

Don’t get it twisted
And don’t get stuck in the past
Live in the present
Because this is the place
You are right now

359.2022

#poem #time #nostalgia #saudade #goodtimes #places #journey #destination #path #antique #now #present

Poem 358 for 2023

Poem 358 for 2023

Poem 358

Feliz Navidad, Amigos
Eat all the food
Watch all the movies
Sleep in till you want to
Listen to all the songs
The bad ones
The good ones
Wham, Mariah Carey
Jose Feliciano
Andy Williams
Eat panes con pollo
Gorge on potato salad
Wear your favorite sweater
With your favorite jeans
Drink coffee and hot chocolate
Hug everyone
And then hug them again
Feliz Navidad, friends!

358.2023

#poem #feliznavidad

Poem 357 for 2023

Poem 357 for 2023

Poem 357

My Christmas Movie

I jump off a bridge
On Christmas Eve
At 11:59pm

I wake up in my bed
It’s Christmas Eve
All over again

I relive
What I thought
Was my last day on Earth

I attempt
To take my life
Over and over again
Until I accept my fate
And relive
Christmas Eve forever

I finally decide
To do all the good I can do
And I love everyone
Around me

I do this for a long time
Until one day
Santa Claus shows up
And says, “You’re ready.”

“Ready for what?” I say
“Ready for Christmas,”
He responds

He takes off his coat
And two gigantic angels wings
Appear from his shoulders
And he flies sway

I scream, “Santa!”

I wake up screaming in my bed
I check my calendar
And it’s December 23rd
On the ground near my bed
I see his sack and his coat

Cut to me as Santa a 1000 years later
I’m weary and tired
I search for a broken soul
To be the next Santa
I find him – it’s my great
To the 14th power grand nephew

I put him to the trial
It’s 1000 years of tests
I finally deem him fit
And reveal myself
And I realize
It’s the younger me
I’m still stuck in the loop
But I go through it
Just to see what’s on the other side

I fly to the heavens
And hit an unbreakable
Crystal wall
I’m in a snow globe
I scream at the giant holding it
And it’s me
From the Christmas Eve
Groundhogs Day time loop

I give up
And fall back to the Earth
The me that jumps off the bridge
Thinks it’s a falling star
And makes a wish to live
I don’t jump off the bridge
Find the will to love
And go home
I wake up the next day
And it’s finally Christmas

I hear a knock on my door
And it’s me
10,000 years in the future
And he says
“Now you’re ready.”

FIN

357.2023 #poem #christmas #santaclaus

Poem 356 for 2023

Poem 356

Life is short and brief
Without holidays
How would we all be
Forced to slow down
And enjoy it

356.2023 #poems #holidays