Poem 3
Treat my heart
Like you would treat
A latte you just ordered
Or a sweet treat
You’ve been waiting for
All week
Be present, be excited
Take your time
But don’t drag it out too long
For our love to grow cold
Sip, gulp, drink
But don’t leave me alone
And empty
And throw me in the trash
And don’t make me feel
Like I don’t matter
Or that I didn’t impact you
Even for a brief moment
3.2024 #poem #latte #love #lovepoem
Poem 2 for 2024
I’m getting older
So what? Who cares. That’s life, man
Sleep, eat, laugh, write, love
2.2024 #poem #haiku #life #writer
Poem 365
If you just keep going
You’ll be further along
Than had you never started
365.2023 #poem
Poem 364
Macarons
Teach you how
To eat them
How to enjoy them
How to devour them
So as to make
A brief moment eternal
When you slow down
Every bite
Then every bite
Becomes everlasting
All to hold infinity
In your mouth
And taste the tip of divinity
On your tongue
364.2023 #poem #macaron #food
Poem 363
I’ve never given
Something
I don’t have to give
Feigning generosity
You do not possess
To save face
Or someone’s feelings
Is a form of cruelty
I’d rather hurt you
A little now
Than hurt you a lot later
363.2023 #poem #thoughts #meditation
Poem 362
My Glimmers* In Improv After For Sure Doing This For 15 Years
*Glimmers are the little things that bring you joy
1. Hanging out in the green room with your buds before a show happens and just talking about whatever
2. Having my favorite pink t-shirt ready to go for a show
3. Seeing someone you haven’t seen in a while and just giving them a big hug without thinking about it
4. Doing a random late night meal with your friends after a really good show
5. Driving into the mouth of the 101 North as it branches off from the 5 North. It’s this brief two lane tributary that rapids you down into Downtown LA; you for sure feel like you’re in LA proper, and the energy shifts to excitement and anticipation as you sail closer to Hollywood.
6. A really good show for 5 people that you’ll all remember for the rest of your lives
7. Having your sketch hit the way you wanted to hit, a rare moment where vision predicts outcome.
8. All the new friends you make randomly at shows
9. 3 hour conversations at House of Pies
10. Seeing a packed patio at The Lyric Hyperion after Duo It Again and just realizing people are becoming friends
11. I love me some backstage blue lights. They’re tranquil AF
12. Being in an empty theater hours before a show. It feels so sacred to be in that space before the public arrives. It’s as if there’s divine energy flowing through
13. The roar of a hot crowd going crazy for you just saying “Wassup!”
14. People coming up to you randomly and telling you about something you did at a show a while back and how it stayed with them in a positive way
15. The planters outside of Broadwater Plunge. Lots of good conversations there
16. Driving to all my theaters
17. Watching someone perform for a long time, laughing at them, and then telling them why you think they’re brilliant
18. A nice crisp margarita after a banger sketch show
19. The fleeting awareness that all this is temporary, and that I’m very privileged and lucky to be creating, which quickly turns to an odd survivors guilt until I shake it off and proceed as scheduled.
20. The good times I’ll inevitably forget but whose imprint I’ll carry forever
#improv #poem
Poem 361
Listening to
The same song
Over and over again
Is therapeutic
It’s almost like
This shield
From the outside world
Where I can
Let my defenses down
And see what
My mind has to say
It’s almost like a trance
Without looking for a trance
Maybe I should just meditate
But I always think of
Gnarly shit
I don’t want to think about
When I try to meditate
Maybe I got PTSD
Or I have so much trauma
There’s a backlog
That it’s just overwhelming
To deal with
Lifting weights
Now that feels like mediation
In the way people describe
What meditation
Does for them
I find myself
Forgiving myself
For things that
Happened long ago
In between sets
It’s like a literal
And figurative weight
Is lifted off my shoulders
As if my physical burden
Takes my spiritual burden with it
When I heave off the last rep
Of a set
My spiritual range of motion
Increases with my actual
Physical range of motion
It’s connected, man
My early gym mentors
Where the most positive people
I ever met
Everyone was cool
And wanted to see me succeed
Prior to that
My concept of meditation
Was connected to the Catholic Church
In the form of prayer
Which took the shape of
Talking to God and asking for forgiveness
While asking why I should feel shame
For some things that didn’t feel like
They warranted that feeling
It wasn’t for me, chico
But in the gym
When you’re tired
Almost exhausted
You’re too beat to lie to yourself
Your truth comes out
And you no longer
Want to hate yourself
It’s like this is a feeling
I wanted to get out of Church
But was never able to get
There’s something divine
Or rather something that
Elicits the divine with me
When I make a sincere effort
To move a piece of piece of metal
In a precise manner through
A fixed path of space
All My focus
All my intent
All my effort
On this one task
I have no ego
Because the weights
Will humble you
Through injury
I’m humble and present
But loving it
While wanting it to end
It’s simple yet complicated
A time to contemplate a paradox
And then move on swiftly
To the next exercise
With a fleeting insight
Maybe that’s what meditation
Is supposed to be
361.2023
#poem #spirit #church #feeling #gym #gymselfie #meditation
Poem 360
How many times
Have I bargained my soul
For cheap pleasure
To forget the pain
I’m trying to run away from
I throw dirt on my energy
By neglecting my spirit
But I don’t know
How to exercise
The breath of life
Running through me
I don’t want the discipline
Or dogma of religion
Because I don’t have
The necessary faith
Or humility
To submit myself
To a life of routine
And ritual
That’s probably the reason why
I’ve never been able to
Stick to one style of improv
But I do believe
In a higher power
Maybe its different forces
Like destiny, luck, and serendipity
Coalescing together
To create a force larger
Than myself
I’m just a good guy
Scratch that
I’m just a guy trying to
Get rid of his ego
Without devaluing myself
To the point
That I feel I have no worth
Or ability to impact
My life with my choices
Catholic School
Did a number on me
I sometimes wish I was
One of those unyielding Catholics
Who believe without doubt
And want to go to Rome
To meet the Pope
None of that stuff interests me
As a kid I was like
Why do I gotta go through
This priest first if I want to
Talk to God
Why do I have to confess
If God already knows what I did
If He’s always with me
He knows all the bad shit I’ve done
But because he’s all forgiving
Or just plain beyond my perception
Of good and evil
Would He not care
And probably forgave me already
All the priests I grew up with
Sucked
None of them were inspiring
And I wanted to believe too
I was ripe for the picking too
If some Evangelical pastor
Came in at the right time
But even they sucked
So who was my moral authority
Growing up
Jesus, duh
Just because I knew it was funky
Didn’t mean I went against
My Catholic programming
I just tried to be like Jesus
Which basically meant
Being a nice guy who helped people
Who put his needs last
Which basically turned me into a martyr
Jesus, I really was trying to be like Jesus
Except my 40 days in the desert
with the Devil
Is getting older and trying not to
Become a jaded cynic
Being happy and positive is hard
in our crumbling world
Maybe I’ll just go full Jesus
And try to help as many people
Why not – it’s what I know
360.2023
#poem #spirit #religion #church #jesus
Poem 359
I long for places
That don’t exist anymore
Because I failed
To appreciate them
When they were around
We don’t know
They’re good times
Till after the fact
Sometimes you can
Freeze time
Hit pause
Step out of the scene
To see the picture
But even then
The wisdom
That the moment
Is fleeting
Is itself transient
Like trying to
Make a sunset longer
Than what it’s supposed to be
I think the error is
Remembering too much
That you fail to make new memories
It’s a paradox
And then life itself
Is brief
Goes by faster every year
Faster than you think
With more new experiences
Than you can process
I am prone to bouts of
Sudden nostalgia
That can bend into
A light melancholy
I can’t change what is
Because it’s too late
To go back
And change what was
The Brazilians
Already solved this problem
Fortunately
It’s called Saudade
A longing for something
That doesn’t exist anymore
That forces you
To live in the moment
In order to escape
The sadness of what was
But they got it down
To a point
That it’s all light and playful
And deep and dad
Life is a party
Because the party that is life
Is not in your control
And you have to let go
And enjoy it
As much as you can enjoy it
As much as you allow yourself
To enjoy it
Don’t let what’s gone
Blind you from
Enjoying what you have now
Hold on loosely
To what you have now
Because it will leave you
But then something new
Will take its place
And so forth and so forth
And that is the rhythm of life
Don’t get it twisted
And don’t get stuck in the past
Live in the present
Because this is the place
You are right now
359.2022
#poem #time #nostalgia #saudade #goodtimes #places #journey #destination #path #antique #now #present
Poem 358
Feliz Navidad, Amigos
Eat all the food
Watch all the movies
Sleep in till you want to
Listen to all the songs
The bad ones
The good ones
Wham, Mariah Carey
Jose Feliciano
Andy Williams
Eat panes con pollo
Gorge on potato salad
Wear your favorite sweater
With your favorite jeans
Drink coffee and hot chocolate
Hug everyone
And then hug them again
Feliz Navidad, friends!
358.2023
#poem #feliznavidad
thesisyphuslife 